As a parent, you certainly have gone through 2 am feedings, temper tantrums of your toddler, the blues of back-to-school and so much more…! If so, why the word teenager is causing you to worry so far? When you consider that the adolescence stage is a period of intense growth which is not only physically but emotionally as well as intellectually, it is pretty much understandable that this is a time of upheaval and confusion for plenty of families.
Thankfully, you’ve been through yourself, and most of us would prefer to forget it. The teens of today have their own world that entirely differs in many ways from the world where we grew up. Even though there still are enough similarities for us to be able to truthfully admit that they are not really behaving strange, which sometimes we think they are! Your teen’s relationship is changing with you as he/she embarks upon the transition to adulthood as well as greater independence which shouldn’t be denied.
Despite some negative perceptions of adults’ about teens, that the teens are often
- Energetic
- Idealistic
- Thoughtful
- Deeply interested
Although it can be a period of conflict between child and parent, the adolescence stage is a time to help your kids grow into the distinct persons they will become.
There are plenty of factors that impact the behavior of adolescents. Armed with these missing pieces of information, as a parent, you, will be able to identify more effective strategies for raising as well as relating to your children as you all take the journey of life together through this stage.
The Biological Development
Your child will be growing physically in ways that are confusing to her/him. But remember, your kid doesn’t have a manual to figure out what is going on either! And there are so much happening that things can seem pretty much complicated and confusing to your teen. When you ask him/her what is going on, they probably can’t talk to you about it because he/she doesn’t know how to put it in words. Ensure you are just considering the following and check if you can remember your own experiences
The Cognitive Development
Consider all the new information your teen is required to process. That includes
- Learning about their environment on a whole new level
- Learning from different teachers on different subjects
- Learning how to read cues from adults as well as other teens as they interact with their school and the community
Remember, your teen is on cognitive overload and his/her brain is not yet fully developed!
The Sexual Development
Nowadays, teens are more aware of their bodies and they even compare to others. The way their peers react to them is certainly more important as well as their interpretation of the reasons for a specific reaction can have a great impact. The feelings that might arise in teens are new to them and it is beyond their comprehension.
4 ways to stay connected with your teen:
Recognize The Need For Independence Of Your Teen:
If you can let your child exercise his own judgment and be himself/herself, rather than who you want him/her to be, then it’s pretty sure that they will be able to grow into age-appropriate independence without cutting you off. On the other hand, if you insist that he/ she play the sport you love or that he/she agree with your political views, then you are letting your teen choose between his/her integrity and a relationship with you.
Empathize, Listen And Keep Advice To A Minimum:
No matter how good your advice is, every time you offer the advice, you are just giving your teen the message that she/he can’t solve his problems by themselves. Just be a sounding board, not a prescriber, then you will find your teen coming back for more and more.
Don’t Ever Try To Remake Your Teen:
While your teen is still under the phase of grooming, encourage that he/she’d look better with the hairstyles of their choice, encourage she/he should wash his face more to look pleasant. Ensure any suggestions are made tactfully, and just once. Post that, your teen will perceive them as rejection.
Always Welcome Your Teen’s Friends:
Do you want your teen hanging out at your house? Then keep snacks available all the time and greet his/her friends with a smile when they unexpectedly pile in.
Make Your Children Accountable
- Stop Blaming yourself for your child’s behavior
- Avoid confrontations
- Just use pull-ups
- Never ever personalize anything
- Run your home based on your belief system
- Be a role model
- Never overreact
- Never ever think of physical abuse
You should look closely at how much room you are giving your teen to be independent and just ask yourself these questions all the way: ‘Am I a controlling parent?’ Am I listening to my child?,’ as well as Am I allowing my teen’s opinions and tastes to differ from my own?’ If you find right answers then you don’t want to worry about anything! Just pat yourself.. Because you really are on the right track!
